No, actually, if you were a regular reader of the Life n Times , it's not one of those. It's just a small sum up of how life is going on at this point.
Yesterday, while speaking to K , I suddenly felt a deep desire within myself to do some things I like, I love to do. One amongst them, being penning down my thoughts without pressing the backspace key. Be it fun, amusement, happiness, fear, grief, anger, or just that 'whatever' kind of emotion, I felt it could come across.
For now, I think the emotion would be happiness. I was thinking as to how this word has had different meanings for me all my life. When I was 4, it used to be a cadbary chocolate that my Grand Mom used to bring for me. When I was 9, it used to be that Best Student shield, that I felt I won with so much effort. When I was 17, it meant the admission to my desired Engg College. When I was 25, it meant that job that I so much so much wanted. But then, it struck me.
Probably, it looked so much big, when it was not with me. Same with things I could not get in life. Always thought that life would be just wonderful, if I had them. And then, I thought of the wonderful things I had got, sometimes unexpected, and that moment of happiness which was just so heavenly. Like that email from the Qualcomm HR informing me of my first ever internship. Like the look on Mom's face when she saw me after one and a half years ( in 2004, and in an hour, she was crying and telling me, you have matured now, I am so happy for you). Like that wonderful feeling you get when you remember your old days ( and nights) spent at Leavey library.
A wise person told me once, that Happiness is just a state of mind. I somehow agree to it, but cannot quite follow it with a lot of heart. Maybe, it's time for a change [Obama ishtyle]. But yes, due to a lot of events in my life, I started thinking that I need to live for today. For the moment. Each day. Every night, if I start counting all the things I did today for which I feel happy, ecstatic about, I find that sometimes I don't even find one. And maybe that's where the change needs to come. Hopefully it will :)